Call Me Phoenix
by wittyDragoon
Summary: After years of wondering how he felt about Miles, Phoenix makes a bet with Maya he's sure he won't lose.
1. Chapter 1

I still remember clear as day what happened back in grade school.

I didn't take any money. I'm sure some of the other kids thought I didn't take it as well. But only one kid stood up for me. Sure, maybe he wasn't actually standing up for _me_, per se, but it was still enough to make an impact on me.

Someone actually cared.

We became best friends after that day. Well, maybe not best friends, but friends nonetheless. I've always treasured that friendship, even after he unexpectantly moved away.

I missed him.

A lot.

Even Dahlia reminded me of him, in some crazy way.

It was hard for me not to think about him, and even after I saw him again after so many years, I still couldn't stop. In fact, I thought about him more.

I always figured it was some kind of worry, since he moved without saying anything and his father died. I always thought it was some sort of ramification that kept pestering my mind.

"I think it means you have a total man crush on the guy," Maya said over her burger the size of her head as it oozed with cheese.

I sat there puzzled. "'Man crush?' Do you mind explaining what that is?" I asked, not really knowing what the phrase meant.

"It means I think you're totally gay for Edgeworth. Heck, I think you're gay in general. You've only had one girlfriend, well, two, but both were totally using you. She tried to kill you too, remember?"

"Woah, woah, woah. Just because I've only told you about one doesn't mean I've only had one girlfriend. For all you know, I could have had a bunch of girlfriends!" I gloated, though I was praying and hoping she'd take my word for it and not ask.

"Have you?" she said nonchalantly, taking another bite.

Dammit.

"Okay, fine, I haven't. But just because I have a lack of charm with the ladies does not make me swing the other way! I just haven't gotten the opportunity to date recently because of work and such…"

"Oh please, you do four cases every year with monthly intervals. You have plenty of time."

Another round lost. It would of been a good time to bring up that year when I did five cases, but I had feeling I'd get shot down. Time to play the Let'schangethesubject Game! "Maya, you've been talking really strangely lately. You're not as upbeat as normal."

"Oh Nick, I'm still the same as I've always been," she said, smiling that goofy grin I've grown so accustomed to. "You see, there's this arc going on in the Steel Samurai. You see, he goes out on a quest and…"

I zoned out for a bit. It's not like I didn't want to hear my best friend ramble about a children's television show, but more along the lines "What the hell is Maya talking about with the man crush thing."

Sure, Edgeworth is one of my best friends, and I've grown used to his perpetual brashness. Although he does cherish friendships more than he used to and even drunkenly exclaimed "You and Larry are the bestest best friends in the whoooole wide world!"

But to pursue a relationship with the guy? Now that was something unfathomable. First of all, I am not a homosexual. My lack of female companions does not automatically point to "Oh, he must be gay," or anything of the sort. Oh no, my heterosexuality is far more than confirmed, but if I could only get Maya to see that.

"Nick, are you listening to me?" Maya pouted, finishing off the last of her gigantean burger. I looked down at my half-eaten burger. I suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.

"O-of course I was! Silly!" I nervously laughed for a bit, but then Maya shot me a death glare. "Okay, no. I wasn't. Do you mind repeating?"

She puffed her cheeks like she normally does when she's mad. "I was saying, I think Edgeworth plays for the other team, just like you."

Oh jegus. Not again. "I am not a homosexual, Maya," I said bluntly, hoping she'd take a hint.

"Uh huh. So anyway, I was thinking, let's make a bet. It's really simple. Listen, you fall for Edgeworth between now and the next two months, I win. You don't, you win. Simple, right?" Maya beamed, most likely thinking her proposition was genuine.

I sighed. "I thought you just said I had a crush him, so if that true, which it's not, then wouldn't you automatically win? That doesn't seem fair to me."

"Hey, I was going to take your word on it when you said you didn't have it in for Edgeworth. But, if you're going to back pedal, then okay, no problem…" Maya shrugged with a smug grin plastered on her face.

"No! I'm not gay and I do not have any sort of infatuation for Edgeworth," I defended, then a smirk tugged at my lips. "Fine. Let us make a bet. I can guarantee I will not lose. It's not possible. Name your terms."

"Hurray! I'm happy you're considering this, at least. Okay, so if you totally go head over heels for Edgeworth, I win and you buy me burgers whenever I want. If you don't then you win, and you get…what do you want Nick?"

"Wait, wait, I already buy you burgers whenever you want, so why don't you make your prize a bit more extravagant?" I said cockily, leaning back in my seat.

"Hm, that is true. Oh! I got one. Next time we go back to Kurain, I'll make you try on the outfit I wear! Then we can be twinsies! That would be A-MAZING. Oh, and you'd still have to buy me burgers," Maya giggled, then matched my smug look. "Well, Nick? Is there any sort of thing you'd like, even though you won't win and it won't matter?"

Damn, why is she being so strange today? This is becoming slightly aggravating. Does she really think I would lose?

"Mystic Maya, I'm back from the bathroom~," Pearls sang and took her seat back next to Maya.

"Pearly! I was just having a discussion with Nick. He's going to dress just like us for a whole week. Isn't that cool?" she made a quick smirk at me before going back to smiling at Pearls.

"You didn't say a week-"

"Really, Mr. Nick? That sounds like so much fun! Oh, don't tell me… is this some sort of bonding ritual you and Mystic Maya are doing before you get married? Oh wow! That would be so swell!" Pearls said in her normally innocent tone of voice, but the fact that she believed Maya was like a bruise on the tomato of my heart.

"Pearls, no that's not it-"

"Nick and I will talk about it later. Now, Pearly, are you going to eat all of your burger?"

* * *

**Woah, something that's not some dumb short. Forgive me for the minor Homestuck pun. Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

Mia always told me I was too gullible. I trusted everyone because, well, why the hell not? The proper foundation for any kind of solid relationship is trust, I knew and understood that perfectly.

Perhaps that explains what I was doing in front of the door of Edgeworth's condo.

Maya told me I couldn't take the easy way out and just not see the guy. She made it perfectly clear that I had to see him at LEAST four times a week. But hey, what does it matter? I'll still win, hands down.

I pondered over the idea of knocking or ringing the doorbell. I fiddled with the loose plastic on the bag I brought that was full of beer. Larry, Edgeworth, and I all used to chill at Edgeworth's place and get drunk after a tough case.

Maya also said those four times had to be just us.

I sighed for the seventeenth time that night and raise my knuckles to the door.

_Tap._

Dammit, what am I doing?

_Tap, tap_

"Who is it?" I heard Edgeworth's deep, slightly husky voice say. It sounded pretty damn close to the door.

Dammit all.

"Uh, hey Edgeworth. It's me, Phoenix," I said, sort of warily.

I then heard a few locks being undone, and the squeak of the door sliding open.

"Do you need something, Wright?" Edgeworth rested his wrist on the doorframe as he spoke. He was not in his normal prissy-looking attire, but in a fairly cheap-looking white button up shirt and slacks. "I was planning on heading out."

"Oh, I just brought some beer over. I was hoping we could, uh, chat or whatever. You know, friend to friend?" Something was so not very right. Is there a reason why I can't speak clearly? "But, if you're going out… Hey, where're you headed?"

The stoic glare that was normally plastered on his face softened a bit. "I was going to the park. Just to… think about some things."

"I could come with you if you want," I offered, knowing he would turn it down. "Wait, how about we stay here, drink all this stuff up, and you won't even have to think about it! Ha ha ha ha ha!" I laughed, still knowing it was dumb.

Edgeworth seemed to entertain the idea. Shocker of the century. "That actually sounds pleasant. Do come in, Wright. As you know, please take your shoes off. I don't need any dirt in my home." He looked me up and down once before heading into his living room.

I followed him in, slipping off my sneakers. The sound of the bag must of startled Pesu, because he came running at me.

Pesu had grown to adore me, since I had been over at Edgeworth's place so many times. I couldn't help but succumb to the hound's infatuation with me, he was just too cute.

After rubbing Pesu's head a handful of times, I traced Edgeworth's steps into his living room. It was spacious, certainly larger than my little ding of an apartment. I wondered how-and why- he needed all this room.

Edgeworth was already situated on his sofa, and I took the seat next to him.

Straight Phoenix challenged Possible Gay Edgeworth to a battle!

Phoenix sent out Awkward!

Edgeworth sent out Awkward!

Awkward! Use Silence!

Awkward! Use Silence!

Gog dammit.

Someone remind me why I'm here.

"So…" Edgeworth used Conversati- I mean, began, "Are you going to pass me a beer or what?"

Reality check, take one. "Oh, yeah! Of course!" I dug in the bag and pulled out a can; ice cold from the fridge at the gas station.

He popped it open and took a sip.

I did the same.

I didn't take long before someone got a little tipsy.

Have I mentioned that Edgeworth is a bad drunk? One can, and he's spouting all sorts of nonsense.

"And I was all 'Objection!' but then he was all 'Objection!' and I was all like 'What da fuck?' He jus' jelly of mah loveleh cravat. Ain't you jelly , Wright?" Edgeworth laughed hysterically.

"Umm humm," I mumbled. Me, on the other hand, when I got drunk, man, I don't give a shit about nothing. I just smile and nod, over and over again.

"Tehn he got the nerve tah tell meh I'm some sort of fag? Oh ho ho ho, sir! Yous are teh one with da frikin' pink suit!" he laughed again, falling on his side. "I mean, I don look dat gay, do I, Wright?"

"Hmm, nope. Nuh uh."

"Ya know, I thought dat was a well kept secret! Maybe someone saw meh making out wid dat otter Prosecutor. Wha was his name? Portsman? I don even know!" He suddenly stopped laughing and got back up. "Tat reminds me, Maya called meh earlier. She wanted tah make a bet, I guess? She was all "Make Phoenix fall in love wid you in da next two months, and ya win. And if I make him fall fur me, I win!' Hahaha! Ain't dat dumb? I would soooo win dat. Heh, I've had flushed feelings for you waaaay longer than she has. You don't wan dat little girl, do ya? You want meh, Miles Edgeworth, hahahaha!"

"Hahahaha! Hurray!" I shouted, my eyes feeling heavy.

Edgeworth stood up and approached me on the couch. I was too drunk to even realize he was sitting on my lap.

"Hey, Wright. I always wan'ed to call you Phoenix. Can I call you Phoenix?" Edgeworth said as he rubbed his hands on my chest, fingering the buttons on my shirt.

"Um hum, sure…"

I felt the buttons snap open, cold hands running across my chest.

"Hm hm hm," Edgeworth chuckled. "I wonder how long it been since I fell in love wid you."

"I dunno?"

Edgeworth slipped my shirt off. "Hey, Phoenix. Can I kiss you?"

"Hmm, sure." I agreed.

That night, I had my first kiss with my best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

"So, you kissed him," Apollo set his milkshake down.

"No, _he_ kissed _me_," I glared at him. Mr. Goody-two-shoes-brilliant-attorney-shit. That used to be my title.

"So, you kissed him," Apollo repeated, rolling his eyes. " Your lips touched, it felt nice, and now you're complaining about it. Something's not right here. Do you know how hard love is to come by?" Apollo's sighed and stirred some more nutmeg into his shake.

"You and Emma broke it off? That sucks. Sorry to hear that, bro."

"What!" Apollo slammed his fist on the table, making a loud _bang_ because of the bracelet he had on. "We were never together in the first place! She just assumed I liked science as much as she obsesses over it! Dammit, Mr. Wright, this is not about me. You found out Mr. Edgeworth is gay, you let him feel you up, you let him kiss you. Face the facts here!"

When I woke up the next morning, my shirt was on the floor and replaced with Edgeworth. He was out cold and wouldn't move. My head ached extremely bad, but that wasn't the worst of it. I remembered everything that happened that night. From the drunken Turnabout Coming Out, the rubbing of my chest, the permission I gave for that kiss. Everything, Well, the part where Edgeworth said Maya made a bet with him was a little hazy, but still. What is with her and all these bets?

"Apollo, this is what alcohol does to people. Remember kid, drugs are bad," I chuckled, trying to lighten up the situation, no matter how impossible it may be.

"I am not a child, Mr. Wright. You're being the childish one here and denying your feelings for Mr. Edgeworth. You know you liked it. You know you did," Apollo giggled.

"He's the one who freaking tweaked my nipples!" I stood up and slammed my hands on the table.

Everyone got quiet, and I could feel all eyes on me.

Shit.

I calmly sat back down, cursing at myself, and said in an unneeded whisper, "My nipples are my nipples and do not need to be played with, male or female."

Apollo rolled his eyes again. "Stop thinking about such frivolous things. All that matters are the feelings you two might have for each other. Notice how I said _might_. Don't pass the opportunity up just because he's a man. For all you know, he could be the future love of your life."

I snorted. "Doubt it."

"I think the best thing to do would be to talk to him. I mean, how is there any better way. Forget the bet for a bit, get some rest, and head over to Mr. Edgeworth's place. Trust me, it's for the best," Apollo winked and he sucked down the last of his shake.

"Apollo, why does it seem like not too long ago, I was giving you advice on everything?"

"Because that was not too long ago. Oh, don't worry, Mr. Wright. I got the bill."

I really had no reason to listen to Apollo. I mean, what does he know? Little spiky haired greenhorn…

Oh, wait. Dammit. That was me once, wasn't it?

I sighed, and decided that maybe it was wise to listen to the kid. Perhaps I'd drop by tomorrow or something.

I headed back to the office just to see if there were people with dumb puns for names hanging around (luckily, there were none), and I was about to leave when I noticed a bright green piece of paper on my desk. Hoping it wasn't a death threat or something, I unfolded it, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was Maya's handwriting.

_Meet me at the burger shop_.

Wow, uh, that was definitely suspicious. She could of easily just called me and force me like she normally does, but…

Being the good person I am, I followed the curious green paper's instructions, and hopped on my bike.

I had the shortcuts to the burger shop down to a science, so I got there in no time. I was about to go when I saw Pearl talking to someone outside.

"Mystic Maya, are you sure? I mean, weren't you going to tell him and be happily forever after?" Pearl's face scrunched up, like she was about to cry.

"Yeah Pearly. It was for the best." A voice said, which was obviously Maya's, "I can just see it in the way he looks at him. Edgeworth would make him happier than I ever would, so there's no point." A sniffle.

"Mystic Maya!" Pearls began to cry, rapidly rubbing her fist across her face. "I-I wanted you two to get m-married! Waaaah!"

"Pearly, calm down! I'll be fine! I can get over Nick, easy, okay? Besides, I hear Klavier got a new condo near my place!" Another sniffle.

"Maya?" I decided to cease my eavesdropping, as it's turned out for the worst in the past. "Are you over there?" Dumb question, since I knew she was.

"Nick? Oh shit, um," I could hear some more sniffling and rustling before I turned the corner. "Hey there Nicky! You got here faster than I thought!" She nervously laughed.

Pearls was still crying.

"Pearls, why are you crying? Come on, I'll buy you a burger if you stop." I bribed, even though I knew why she was crying.

"What a bad guardian you are!" Maya slapped me on the back. I knew it was meant as a joke, but I could still feel the weight of her hand on my shoulder, and it felt like a block of lead.

Holy shit. Maya likes me.

How the flying turd did I not realize that? Who would of freaking thought that my best friend and partner would have any kind of feelings for me that weren't just for using me? Does she even have any feelings besides hungry? Why was she trying to set me up with Edgeworth then? Shit, none of this makes any freaking sense! Argh! Daaaaamit!

"Nick, are you okay?" Maya looked up at me with her normal goofy grin, but I could still see the red in her eyes.

"Huh? Oh, yeah." Time for more Pokémon simulators.

"So let's go get that burger! I'm starved." She tugged on my hand, pulling me through the door.

"Yeah…"

* * *

Woah. Drama much. This chapter kind of sucked ass. Sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

"Edgeworth left the country again," Larry pants as he tightened his grip on my blue suit.

"What?"

"He left," Maya says slowly, "the freaking. Country. Probably to get away from you," she says as she opens the door to my apartment.

Well, there goes talking to him. I would like to blame it on him, but I know better.

"Dammit, it's all his fault," I mumble, completely contradicting myself. Like I care anyway. The second I try to talk to him, he runs away. Not like this is the first time this has ever happened.

"Did you say something, Nicky-poo?" Maya nudges me before she tosses herself into my office chair.

"No, darling," I say teasingly, like normal. I instantly regret it.

Lucky for me, however, she brushes it off in the normal way.

"Anyway, Nick, Edgeworth wanted me to give you this," Larry says and hands me a slip of paper.

"What's this?" I ask, grabbing it a little too eagerly. I unfold the white stationary to see a simple line of numbers.

"Well, that looks like a phone number to me," Larry says, grinning like a buffoon.

"What," Maya yawns, "You didn't have his number before?" She suddenly grins. "I thought you two were best friends."

"He said his cell phone was for private business only and would not share it with me," I mumbled, just waiting for Maya's rebuttal.

"Really?" Larry perks up. "I have his number. I text him all the time. He doesn't respond to me all the time, but…"

Maya burst out laughing. Have I ever mentioned that her laugh's the most annoying thing on the planet? Edgeworth once said it reminded him of someone named Calisto Yew. Then he threw a glass bottle. I didn't ask.

"Oh my god, Nick, you are such a loser!" Maya cries as wipes tears off her eyelashes. "Either he seriously hates your guts, or," she makes one of her immediate emotion changes and makes googly eyes at me, "he was playing. Hard. To. Get. Hee hee hee hee!"

"Oh please, Maya. You know that's not true. I guess he didn't trust me enough to give me something so personal," I quickly come up with an excuse. I suddenly have a fleeting feeling that it will make no difference.

"And yet he trusts Larry? You have got to be kidding, Nick! He wants your butt cheeks! He wants you to call him so he can talk dirty to you! You need to tell me when you call him, so I can listen in," Maya swivels around in the chair and puts her feet up on the wall.

"Oh my, Nick. I knew it was a matter of time…" Larry mumbles as he reaches for the door.

"Wait, Larry, don't tell me you were in on this too?!"

The door shuts and I hear the skipping of Larry's clogs down the stairs.

Maya swirls around in my chair whistling the Steel Samurai theme.

Someone please remind me why I talk to either of them.

"So… you gonna call him?"

I don't respond.

"Nick?"

"…I'm going to bed," I say quietly.

"Nick, it's 3 o'clock."

"I don't care," I say as I take off my blazer.

"…Nick, I'm sorry."

I still don't respond.

"Nick, come on, you know I was just joking."

"Yeah, Maya, I know. Good night."

"…Good night, Nick."

I close the door to my bedroom. I sit on the white sheets on my bed. I sigh once or twice. Then I pull my cell phone out from my pocket.


	5. Chapter 5

Mia always said I was easy to forgive. I was unable to hold a grudge, apparently. She said it wasn't a bad thing, though, because it meant people would trust me more. I didn't like it when she said things like that though. She always complimented me in a way that made me feel like a child receiving a piece of candy. However, my "free- loving forgiveness" was apparently one of my best qualities.

"Hello?"

That same deep, slightly husky voice that had stood by me in some of my deepest and darkest times. That same voice that silently cried out in pain when he was almost declared guilty for a crime he didn't commit. That voice cried to me.

"Edgeworth?"

"Wright? Wright, is that you?" he asks with a certain peak in his voice.

"Uh," I stutter. The decision to call him was made in a hasty blur. I did want to talk to him, but I was also unconsciously upset at Maya and Larry. I wasn't sure if I was doing this out of my undying love for Mr. Miles Edgeworth or a petty distaste for my so-called friends.

"I see Larry gave you the number," he says slowly, as if he was carefully guarding each word that left his mouth.

"Uh, yeah. How come you've never given me your number before?"

"Oh, this isn't my cell phone number. It's for the one at the hotel I'm staying at. Did you actually think I'd give you my phone number?" he chuckles a bit at that last part.

I'm glad he finds it funny.

"Why?" I ask.

"Why what?"

"Why would you never give me your phone number?" I demand, although, a bit more demanding than I would have intended.

There's a brief pause. Through my irregular breathing through my nose (which Mia also said was too heavy) I could hear the careful puffs of Edgeworth's breath through the speaker. It came out in a steady rhythm, light and even, and nary a bit erotic. Not at all.

"Wright?" That voice again.

"Huh, yes?"

"I said why I never gave you my number was because I didn't want you sending me foolish messages at all hours detailing your boring life. I deeply regret giving Larry my number, because that's all he seems to fill his time with," Edgeworth says faster than his normal speech.

I believe him. Of course I believe him. The tiny inkling of what Maya suggested lingers in the back of mind, but I believe him.

"I don't believe you."

"I'm sorry?"

I sigh heavily. "I do not believe you," I repeat. "I mean, why should I? It's not like this is the first time anyway. You lie to me about everything else, about why you leave the country in random bouts, and don't you dare tell me it's always for business."

"Wright, I-" he stammers, but I cut him off before he can spout his defense.

"No, no, I don't want this. Can I not have a normal friend, maybe one who doesn't use me relentlessly and wrings my wallet dry, or maybe one who, most likely, has a mental condition and wants to be tossed into prison, or maybe one who isn't a chronic liar? Wait, no, I forgot, I'm not allowed such luxuries, because I'm just boring old Phoenix Wright, defense attorney. By pure luck I'll keep you out of jail," I steam.

"Wright, listen-"

"You know, Edgeworth, I considered you one of my best and closest friends. But I'm sick of your shit. You never talk to me about anything, it's like you assume I'm not capable of listening and understanding. The only time I can get you to admit something truthfully is when you're wasted, but where's the trust in that? Look, Edgeworth, if you plan on keeping to use me as a play thing you can get a giggle out of every now and then, then I at least wish you would kindly let me know so I can know when you're toying with my heart and when you're not, so-"

"Wright! Shut the fuck up and listen to me!" Edgeworth yells into the receiver. His voice jumps an octave, sounding like a squeal of a little girl.

There's another pause, though it's not nearly as short. The air is dense, frigid, and needless to say, I'm haughtily tempted to just slam my phone on my hardwood floors.

"Well? What do I just need to listen to?" I mock him. I couldn't help it. I don't think I've been more pissed in my life.

"….You're right, Wright," he giggles slightly. I'm not sure if it's from the pun he just made or if he's actually about to reveal his master plan and finds it hilarious enough to waste my time and giggle like a child. "I did lie to you. I didn't leave the country."

"…What?"

"You heard me, Wright. I didn't leave. Larry was in on it with me. I'm actually at a hotel downtown," he says. I can hear the smirk in his words.

I knew he was playing me, and yet, I wasn't nearly as mad as I thought I would be.

"Good-bye, Wright," he says in a slightly sing-songy manner.

"Wait-"

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

"…Dammit."

My eyes forcibly close and I make a useless attempt to run my fingers through my hair. My phone slips from my hand and onto the floor. I wouldn't have cared if it had broken.

"Fuck my life," I mutter.

At that same moment, as if this was a Lifetime movie and this was cliché moment number 27, by phone dings, indicating a message.

I fumble for the phone on the floor. One body tumble later, just as I'm about to grab it, it vibrates again, skittering across the wood floors like an insect. I fall off the bed when I retrieve it. I flip it open to find two messages from the same number, an unknown number at that.

The first one reads:

"I'm at the Hyatt. You know what room number."

I scoff and deeply consider not reading the next one.

I do anyway:

"Come between 10 and midnight. I'm going to have company, and I do not need you intruding."

I blink a few times at that one. He invites me over as if he needs to talk to me, and then tells me his operating hours.

"What an asshole," I say to no one in particular, not even myself.

Then I giggle. Or chuckle. Perhaps it's something in between, but a stunted laugh nonetheless.

"End Act 5," I say, stuffing my phone in my pocket and tossing my blazer back on.

* * *

**Oh, my, drama bomb! What will happen to the young lad? Find out in blah blah blah. I might need to change the genre to drama. **

**Anyway, though I do not plan on it, things might get out of hand and I might be forced to change this "T" rating to "M." I would love any suggestions and tips. I must say, however, do not expect anything that may involve anyone closing any doors (if ya know what I mean). Thank you for reading and please review! -wits.**


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